One early morning, when I went to Facebook, I saw a message under
the photo of my book Fish Sauce, “Daniel
and Anhthao, I purchased your books and cannot wait.” I replied, “Thank you.”
I called Dan and asked him, “Dan, who is Khetam? Did I meet her
before? Her message is friendly, as if she knew me before.”
Dan explained, “Honey, I do not think you met Khetam before. She
is my colleague. She purchased our books because she is also an author and an
immigrant like you.”
I asked him, “Really? Do you have her book?”
Dan answered, “Yes, I will show her book to you. Her book is also
the textbook for English as a Second Language Students. She teaches ESL
courses.”
I replied to him, “Thank you, Dan.”
That afternoon, I went to Facebook, and wrote another message for
Khetam, “I look forward to reading your book, The Journey of an Immigrant during the winter break.”
Dan could not find Khetam’s book because he had too many books, so
when he reorganized his bookshelf, he did not remember where he put it. I did
not contact Khetam until I received her message: “I love your book,” with a
photo of the cover of Yellow Flower.
I was very happy and replied to her immediately, “Thank you so much, Khetam, Could you do me a favor? Could
you post this photo in public? Again, thank you so much for your support.”
Since then, we
became friends. I often wrote comments on her posts. I liked her beauty, friendliness,
open mind, independence, confidence, and understanding. I thought she was an
Indian-American immigrant until I met her in person.
Dan handed me the
book, The Journey of an Immigrant: From
Farm to Freedom by Khetam Dahi. I was fascinated to read Khetam’s book and to
learn more about my new friend.
In Khetam’s introduction, she honestly reveals her parents’ early
engagement and wedding “On his wedding day, he had to call him in to get ready
for the day’s event.”(xix) to help the audience learn more about her
culture. Also, Khetam quotes her
father’s words to teach her how to succeed in life when she was rejected at her
first job “You need to be tough and try again. You will be denied things
sometimes and you will be rejected other times. You may lose to others and you
may fail in some things, but all these negative things should be lessons and
opportunities to get stronger and wiser.” (128). Khetam introducing about her
parents like Condoleezza Rice’s introduction about Rice’s parents and Condi’s
parent teaching in Extraordinary,
Ordinary People : “if
you were twice as good as they were, ‘they’ might not like you but ‘they’
[would have] to respect you” (3). Both Condoleezza and Khetam maintained good
relationship with their parents with love and pride about their parents’ wisdom
and care. Both Condoleezza’s and Khetam’s parents tasted the bitterness in the
United States, so they wanted their children to have a better life and by
working hard and education was a sturdy barricade to protect themselves. In the
United States ethnic elderly endure unfairness for minority people, so many
parents wished their offspring to succeed, no matter whether they were
immigrants or not.
Khetam’s life in Syria and my life in Vietnam
were similar. We both shared common daily life and typical cultures. Khetam describes
“Most students in town walked to school, but many from the surrounding villages
came by bus, on motorcycles behind their fathers or other family members. Some
rode their own bicycles or motorcycles” (xvii). The image was also the vivid
typical picture of going to school in Vietnam.
Although my family did not
live in a farmland, Khetam family’s situation and environment were similar to
my family when she told the reader that some people thought that her family was
rich because they owned some a large piece of land and a farm, but it was not
true because her parents worked very hard and saved every single penny with the
hope to provide her siblings a better life. Likewise, our relatives, friends,
and outsiders assumed that my family was rich because my parents provided us
the best educational opportunities and condition to make us only concentrate on
school. I think not only Asian cultures, but also different cultures in the world
also share responsibilities with the other members in a close family or extended
families.
Both Khetam and I
had similar childhoods with many made up games and toys because we did not have
much luxurious toys and games. As young girls, we both enjoyed crocheting,
embroidering, stitching and knitting. I liked to sew and made clothes for my
dolls, but I asked my older cousin to do it for my dolls because I was not good
at, or interested in female tasks. Like Khetam, I was bored to wear my older
siblings’ outfits and reused their old school supplies, toys, and their
possessions. Our parents provided us
limited new clothes and did not buy new belongings if they were in good
condition. We grew up in male dominant cultures, so female had little rights in
our society. As Khetam revealed many unspoken forbidden laws and rules for
girls, we were tired, confused and felt unfair for us, the girls because we
unexpectedly received too many harsh and strict complaints, punishments, and
annoyances.
I laughed out
loud when I read the story about Khetam’s trouble with the bathroom on the
airplane—her first experience, opinion, comparison about the restroom on the
airplane and the restroom in her motherland on the way to the United States.
The story was similar to my story, “Bathrooms,” on the trip to the United
States. Khetam used the words, “pee” and “poo” to provide ESL students daily conversation new
words that were big help for the newcomers. I only learned these words right
after I got my bachelor’s degree in English because during my undergraduate
periods, I only worked and read academic writings, textbooks, and fine
literature, so I did not have any chance and opportunities to learn daily
conversation and common vocabularies.
Khetam describes her hardship, bias, and disadvantages
during her journey in the United States. Khetam does not write much about her
triumph and achievement, but her real story and her position as a full time
English instructor at a community college are real and vivid tokens of her
accomplishment. Khetam’s The Journey of
an Immigrant is not only the book text for ESL adult students who learn
English writing and reading skills with practical and dynamic exercise and
common vocabularies worksheets that the English learners need to acquire, but
it is also the motivation for newcomers to pursue their dreams as Khetam’s
wishes revealing in Note to the Reader.
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