Respect and Trust

 

          “Respect and Trust” was the topic we discussed at our October 26, 2020 staff meeting. What is the difference between trust and respect? How do we build trust and respect in the workplace between coworkers, families and children? According to the NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct, respect is “Esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.” Trust is the “Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or strength of someone or something.” According to the Code, trust is built on “confidentiality, cooperation, and collaboration.”

Respect is a feeling or emotion of an individual toward someone who possesses certain dominant qualities, abilities, and/or power. During the discussion, a staff member said that respect was a natural reaction to someone else. We might respect many people, but we might not trust those whom we respect. We need to take time to build trust with each other. For example, we could respect strangers, but we never trust strangers at first sight. The staff members agreed with this statement.

Respect is a moral lesson that we all learn at a very young age in our family and community, similar to the Golden Rule of respect, “Treat people the ways you want to be treated.” All cultures teach us respect, but the hierarchy of respect, the level of respect, and the ways to show respect are different from culture to culture, community to community, and family to family. For example, Asian culture shows respect to their parents by listening, following, and obeying what their parents say. By contrast, American culture lets its children have their own opinion and directly say what they are thinking.

We are taught to respect our family members, friends, teachers, the elderly and members of some professional careers, such as doctors, lawyers, teachers, and religious authorities. Respect should be taught, be learned and relearned. For example, when a child yells at a teacher or does not follow the teacher’s direction, the child shows disrespect to the teacher. The child might not know this is disrespectful. Therefore, as childcare providers and early care teachers, our mission is teaching children respect. Before teaching respect, we should be role models to demonstrate respect. We respect children by listening to them, showing sympathy and being fair. We not only teach children to respect each other, but we also teach children to respect themselves. The ways we show respect for children are similar to the ways we show respect for our coworkers. Before we respect others, we should respect ourselves: fulfilling our duties at work as well as at home and everywhere, as well as adhering to our ethical codes. One’s personal respect will spread to others while we interact and communicate with each other.

The NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct addresses trust in the workplace. When we trust someone, we know a bit about that individual. We know their strengths, abilities, and qualifications to work, to make plans, and to get along with others. Trust plays an important role in the childcare field because childcare professionals work together as a team to make decisions and share responsibilities.

We trust someone because that person gives us safety and does not harm us. We can talk and share our weaknesses, worries, concerns, strengths, and flaws without fear of harm. Trust should be built on confidentiality. Respect comes before trust. In other words, trust requires respect, confidentiality and working together. Trust is motivation to lift one’s spirits and gain confidence. For example, when a supervisor trusts the ability of a new employee, the supervisor gives them a new task and believes that the employee can fulfill the task’s requirements. The employee performs the task to the best of their ability.

To build trust, we establish respect with each other and create a comfortable and safe environment, so that those around us feel welcome to express themselves. We should be honest and be ourselves. We need to admit our strengths and weaknesses. We need to keep our promises, do not gossip, and do talk behind each other’s backs.

Respect is a requirement to show courtesy and kindness. Trust is an ingredient of success. Even without trust, people should show respect no matter what. Respect and trust are the qualifications and the keys to any successful relationship. Unfortunately, nowadays, respect and trust are in danger. Disrespectful behaviors and acts appear everywhere, including the electronic and print media. People have lost their faith in politics, religion, business, and society. We should build and protect respect and trust for us and for our children.

 

 

 

The Los Angeles Bridge

One early morning, when I went to Facebook, I saw a message under the photo of my book Fish Sauce, “Daniel and Anhthao, I purchased your books and cannot wait.” I replied, “Thank you.”

I called Dan and asked him, “Dan, who is Khetam? Did I meet her before? Her message is friendly, as if she knew me before.”

Dan explained, “Honey, I do not think you met Khetam before. She is my colleague. She purchased our books because she is also an author and an immigrant like you.”

I asked him, “Really? Do you have her book?”

Dan answered, “Yes, I will show her book to you. Her book is also the textbook for English as a Second Language Students. She teaches ESL courses.”

I replied to him, “Thank you, Dan.”

That afternoon, I went to Facebook, and wrote another message for Khetam, “I look forward to reading your book, The Journey of an Immigrant during the winter break.”

Dan could not find Khetam’s book because he had too many books, so when he reorganized his bookshelf, he did not remember where he put it. I did not contact Khetam until I received her message: “I love your book,” with a photo of the cover of Yellow Flower. I was very happy and replied to her immediately, “Thank you so much, Khetam, Could you do me a favor? Could you post this photo in public? Again, thank you so much for your support.”

Since then, we became friends. I often wrote comments on her posts. I liked her beauty, friendliness, open mind, independence, confidence, and understanding. I thought she was an Indian-American immigrant until I met her in person.    

                        Dan handed me the book, The Journey of an Immigrant: From Farm to Freedom by Khetam Dahi. I was fascinated to read Khetam’s book and to learn more about my new friend.

 In Khetam’s introduction, she honestly reveals her parents’ early engagement and wedding “On his wedding day, he had to call him in to get ready for the day’s event.”(xix) to help the audience learn more about her culture.  Also, Khetam quotes her father’s words to teach her how to succeed in life when she was rejected at her first job “You need to be tough and try again. You will be denied things sometimes and you will be rejected other times. You may lose to others and you may fail in some things, but all these negative things should be lessons and opportunities to get stronger and wiser.” (128). Khetam introducing about her parents like Condoleezza Rice’s introduction about Rice’s parents and Condi’s parent teaching in Extraordinary, Ordinary People : “if you were twice as good as they were, ‘they’ might not like you but ‘they’ [would have] to respect you” (3).   Both Condoleezza and Khetam maintained good relationship with their parents with love and pride about their parents’ wisdom and care. Both Condoleezza’s and Khetam’s parents tasted the bitterness in the United States, so they wanted their children to have a better life and by working hard and education was a sturdy barricade to protect themselves. In the United States ethnic elderly endure unfairness for minority people, so many parents wished their offspring to succeed, no matter whether they were immigrants or not.

 Khetam’s life in Syria and my life in Vietnam were similar. We both shared common daily life and typical cultures. Khetam describes “Most students in town walked to school, but many from the surrounding villages came by bus, on motorcycles behind their fathers or other family members. Some rode their own bicycles or motorcycles” (xvii). The image was also the vivid typical picture of going to school in Vietnam.

Although my family did not live in a farmland, Khetam family’s situation and environment were similar to my family when she told the reader that some people thought that her family was rich because they owned some a large piece of land and a farm, but it was not true because her parents worked very hard and saved every single penny with the hope to provide her siblings a better life. Likewise, our relatives, friends, and outsiders assumed that my family was rich because my parents provided us the best educational opportunities and condition to make us only concentrate on school. I think not only Asian cultures, but also different cultures in the world also share responsibilities with the other members in a close family or extended families.

             Both Khetam and I had similar childhoods with many made up games and toys because we did not have much luxurious toys and games. As young girls, we both enjoyed crocheting, embroidering, stitching and knitting. I liked to sew and made clothes for my dolls, but I asked my older cousin to do it for my dolls because I was not good at, or interested in female tasks. Like Khetam, I was bored to wear my older siblings’ outfits and reused their old school supplies, toys, and their possessions.  Our parents provided us limited new clothes and did not buy new belongings if they were in good condition. We grew up in male dominant cultures, so female had little rights in our society. As Khetam revealed many unspoken forbidden laws and rules for girls, we were tired, confused and felt unfair for us, the girls because we unexpectedly received too many harsh and strict complaints, punishments, and annoyances.   

             I laughed out loud when I read the story about Khetam’s trouble with the bathroom on the airplane—her first experience, opinion, comparison about the restroom on the airplane and the restroom in her motherland on the way to the United States. The story was similar to my story, “Bathrooms,” on the trip to the United States. Khetam used the words, “pee” and “poo” to  provide ESL students daily conversation new words that were big help for the newcomers. I only learned these words right after I got my bachelor’s degree in English because during my undergraduate periods, I only worked and read academic writings, textbooks, and fine literature, so I did not have any chance and opportunities to learn daily conversation and common vocabularies.  

             Khetam describes her hardship, bias, and disadvantages during her journey in the United States. Khetam does not write much about her triumph and achievement, but her real story and her position as a full time English instructor at a community college are real and vivid tokens of her accomplishment. Khetam’s The Journey of an Immigrant is not only the book text for ESL adult students who learn English writing and reading skills with practical and dynamic exercise and common vocabularies worksheets that the English learners need to acquire, but it is also the motivation for newcomers to pursue their dreams as Khetam’s wishes revealing in Note to the Reader.

 

 

"Sí, se Puede”

Most non-Spanish speakers do not know the meaning of the phrase “Sí, se puede,” but most people who live in the United States are familiar with President Obama’s first presidential campaign slogan, “Yes, We Can,” which led President Obama to become the first African American President of the United States. Not many people know that President Obama’s slogan, “Yes, We Can” is not original with him. His campaign team borrowed “Yes, We Can” (“Sí, se puede” in Spanish) from the slogan of the great Latino-American farm worker, Cesar Chavez,  who, when he was in jail, became the founding father of the national farm workers alliance. Similar to African Americans who are rightly proud of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Latino-Americans consider Cesar Chavez their greatest hero of the late twentieth Century.

“Sí, se puede,” or “Yes, we can” is also the motivational phrase that educators use to encourage students to keep trying. Thus, in San Jose, California, first and second graders from Cesar Chavez Elementary School, wear a crown on their heads with the words, “Sí, se puede” as they walk to the Mexican Heritage center to celebrate the great man’s birthday. This walk commemorates Cesar Chavez, a poor Latino American farmer who worked hard to help organize Latino American fruit pickers. The students’ crowns remind them that they should not deny their heritage or culture, nor do they need to do big things to make their actions meaningful. At their age, all they can do is work hard to fulfill their duties as students.

Although San Antonio and FUCHA schools are located next to this cultural heritage landmark, Cesar Chavez Elementary School’s students are the first to enter the Plaza. Shortly after they arrive, other students from the Alum Rock School District come and begin to fill the empty spaces. When the last students arrive, there are no empty spaces remaining in the Plaza. The Principal of Cesar Chavez School, Mr. Sanchez, opens the ceremony with a few words about Cesar Chavez, the great man whose non-violent strategy was instrumental in dealing successfully with different people holding different points of view. “Non violence” and “Yes We Can” are also the mottos in Cesar Chavez Elementary School. Teachers help students learn to control their anger, learn to express disagreement with gentle words, and learn to walk away when conflict seems imminent. These skills allow problems to be solved peacefully. Practicing non-violence helps individuals control themselves, and remembering the words “Yes We Can,” gives students and teacher a sense of power over their own destinies as they learn.  

Dr. Martin Luther King Junior’s famous lines from his 1963 speech, “I have a dream...” are known around the world, and his words encouraged people in this country and around the world to share his vision of ethnic equality, pride, and peaceful coexistence. Unfortunately, not so many people know about Cesar Chavez’s leadership in forming the United Farm Workers’ Union.  Cesar Chavez’s UFWU demanded respect and benefits for farm workers laboring in California, but at its core was, like Dr. King’s message of racial equality, it was an idea with unstoppable momentum with benefit for all agricultural laborers: Europeans, Asians, Africans, and white Americans. While Dr. King’s Civil Rights leadership was a volcano shaking the world, Cesar Chavez’s championing of farm workers was an effective groundswell coming from deep in the fertile ground of California’s central valley. Though Chavez’s movement benefitted workers everywhere, only California, Texas, and Arizona celebrate Cesar Chavez’s birthday. Cesar Chavez is a role model for all ethnic immigrants and working people; his life’s story is motivation for them to pursue their dreams with the phrase, “Yes We Can,” in their hearts.



Thanksgiving

Long time ago the Pilgrims left behind their motherland and sailed to the boundless ocean in the hope of finding a place to practice freely their religion. Day after day, night after night flowing in the adventurous sea, they caught land and built huts in the new world; they confronted the alien jeopardy. Ultimately they gathered to thank God for helping them survive during the adventure and to thank the native Indians for helping them overcome the brutal winter.

Like the Pilgrims, after the Saigon's Fall in 1975, current waves of Vietnamese launched to the risky sea with the determination: freedom or die. They traded their freedom by tons of adversities. The United States is one of the countries to receive the jumbo Vietnamese population. In regards to the American tradition, many Vietnamese Americans celebrate Thanksgiving; they get together to thank those, who accept and assist them, and those, who share land, bread, and job with them.

I personally thank my family to care and to sponsor me to the United States. I acknowledge my professors and instructors who give me the ability to express my heart and mind in English. I applaud my friends’ support, cooperation, and motivation me to pursue my dream. I cheer my students’ love and trust. I adore my Blue Eyes’ democracy, magnificence, and magnetism.

I love you; you love me; we are the happy United States of America.

Thanksgiving 09

Anne Frank & Anhthao Bui

Dear Anne Frank,
I just finished reading your diary. I love it very much. Your diary makes me cry. Actually, I read the book when I was a little girl, but I did not remember why I loved your book until now. First, I admire you, Anne. You are brave. I cannot imagine how my life would be during two years of separation from society in a small space. Perhaps I would commit suicide. Second, I find myself in your character. We have many things in common. We love nature and aesthetics; you like writing and wish to be a famous writer. Your wish is granted; your book is translated into many languages. I love writing and wish to be a famous writer too. However, unlike you, I am confused about my ability. Failure engulfs me in an ocean of depressed mud and an inferiority complex. I try to escape from the inferiority complex and the depression, but I am not successful. I fight against my enemies every minute. I am so exhausted and wish to die, but I have no choice. I am cowardly; I dare not commit suicide because I know before my breath stops, I may suffer tremendous physical pain. Oh, I am scared because I hate pain. I do not know why I cannot give up my goal. The more I suffer darkness, the more I wish to write. I write for myself. I want to improve my writing skill.
Many people have admired me and said that I was talented, smart, and remarkable. However, I was confused about my ability. If I was really talented or smart, I should be successful and not fall into failures.
Like you, I am so lonely among my family. My mother and my siblings love me very much; they are jealous of people whom I am close. However, they never know that they accidentally push me down into the canyon of dolor because of their poisonous language and their mean judgments.
Also, we have the same hobbies; we like literature and history.
I am bipolar. Two different characters are in this person: Anhthao in writing and Anhthao in a real life.

CREATIVITY by Anhthao Bui

To bloom a creative garden, I must lose myself and turn my blue into fertile dirt. Creativity needs fertilizer and good care. Creativity likes blue and gloom. I nurture my aesthetics and feed it with my blood, flesh, and vigor. Creative trees are greedy suckers. They violently suck my live maroon with joy. Creativity is bacteria to live in my cells. They undermine my brain, heart, and control system.
Artists are those who have imbalanced psyche and suffer their long life depression. Artists are crazy people who live in their imagination. Artists are the poorest people in the world who long for love and wish to understand. Artists are valiant heroes who fight against their vexing enemies in each breath. Artists skillfully use their own weapons and shields to protect themselves from their self-humiliation.