Fish Sauce by Anhthao Bui

Fish Sauce by Anhthao Bui
Fish Sauce is realistic fiction, and Anhthao’s second anthology collection.

Friday, August 15, 2008

DEAR ANNE FRANK







Dear Anne Frank,

I just finished reading your diary. I love it very much. Your diary makes me cry. Actually, I read the book when I was a little girl, but I did not remember why I loved your book until now. First, I admire you, Anne. You are brave. I cannot imagine how my life would be during two years of separation from society in a small space. Perhaps I would commit suicide. Second, I find myself in your character. We have many things in common. We love nature and aesthetics; you liked writing and wished to be a famous writer. Your wish was granted; your book was translated into many languages. I love writing and wish to be a famous writer too. However, unlike you, I am confused about my ability. Failure engulfs me in an ocean of depressed mud and an inferiority complex. I try to escape from the inferiority complex and the depression, but I am not successful. I fight against my enemies every minute. I am so exhausted and wish to die, but I have no choice. I am cowardly; I dare not commit suicide because I know before my breath stops, I may suffer tremendous physical pain. Oh, I am scared because I hate pain. I do not know why I cannot give up my goal. The more I suffer darkness, the more I wish to write. I write for myself. I want to improve my writing skill.
Many people have admired me and said that I was talented, smart, and remarkable. However, I was confused about my ability. If I was really talented or smart, I should be successful and not fall into failures.
Like you, I am so lonely among my family. My mother and my siblings love me very much; they are jealous of people whom I am close. However, they never know that they accidentally push me down into the canyon of dolor because of their poisonous language and their mean judgments.
Also, we have the same hobbies; we like literature and history.
I am bipolar. Two different characters are in this person: Anhthao in writing and Anhthao in a real life.
Anne Frank & Anhthao Bui

Dear Anne Frank,
I just finished reading your diary. I love it very much. Your diary makes me cry. Actually, I read the book when I was a little girl, but I did not remember why I loved your book until now. First, I admire you, Anne. You are brave. I cannot imagine how my life would be during two years of separation from society in a small space. Perhaps I would commit suicide. Second, I find myself in your character. We have many things in common. We love nature and aesthetics; you like writing and wish to be a famous writer. Your wish is granted; your book is translated into many languages. I love writing and wish to be a famous writer too. However, unlike you, I am confused about my ability. Failure engulfs me in an ocean of depressed mud and an inferiority complex. I try to escape from the inferiority complex and the depression, but I am not successful. I fight against my enemies every minute. I am so exhausted and wish to die, but I have no choice. I am cowardly; I dare not commit suicide because I know before my breath stops, I may suffer tremendous physical pain. Oh, I am scared because I hate pain. I do not know why I cannot give up my goal. The more I suffer darkness, the more I wish to write. I write for myself. I want to improve my writing skill.
Many people have admired me and said that I was talented, smart, and remarkable. However, I was confused about my ability. If I was really talented or smart, I should be successful and not fall into failures.
Like you, I am so lonely among my family. My mother and my siblings love me very much; they are jealous of people whom I am close. However, they never know that they accidentally push me down into the canyon of dolor because of their poisonous language and their mean judgments.
Also, we have the same hobbies; we like literature and history.
I am bipolar. Two different characters are in this person: Anhthao in writing and Anhthao in a real life.




Saturday, August 2, 2008

MOTIVATION






I was an English major at San Jose State University. I love reading and writing. However, as an ESL student, I struggled with some English courses. I did not talk much in the classroom and I made some English grammartical errors. Thus, I was confused and frustrated about my ability. Professor Mitchell understood and encouraged me to pursue my dream. Once, when professor Mitchell came to the classroom, she said, “Class, we are proud to have a famous poet in our class.”
Theresa was curious, “Really? Who is he or she?”
Students were surprised, “Who? May we know the poet’s name?”
Professor Mitchell smiled and said, “Anhthao Bui is her name. Her poetry is chosen to publish in the anthology,'The Best Poems and Poets of 2003.' She also gets the Diversity Award of the Humanity Department.”
Students looked at me and yelled, “Wow, no wonder! Are you a poet, Anhthao?"
Angela, my best friend, nodded, “Yep, she is. Her poetry is beautiful. I read her poetry when I took the English 132, the Creative Writing Course.”
Professor Mitchell suggested, “Anhthao, could you share with us your poetry?”
I was shy. My face turned red. With a soft and trembling voice, I told her, “Yes, Professor. I would like to share with you the poem, “Haikus I”
I stood up and tried to read loudly and slowly, “Haikus I”
Among foreigners
Differ from languages, cultures
I'm blind, deaf, and dumb

Melancholy tears
Fall on Shakespeare's masterpieces
Cloud men's loneliness

Anguish eats my flesh
Solitude swallows my blood
Fear hacks me to death

I am a phoenix
Death, rebirth, a life cycle
Crawl on a new path

When I finished the poem, class paused a few seconds, and then students burst into applause and praise.
“Wow, Anhthao!”
“So powerful!”
“So unique!”
“You’re talented, Anhthao."

Professor Mitchell told me, “ Anhthao, tell us about your poetry. Why did you write it?”
I was touched. My eyes were wet. I murmured, “Thank you so much for your praise. One early morning, when I got up, I saw white spots tears on the Shakespeare’s black book cover, so I wrote the poem to describe my emotion and my depression. I like haiku because of its simplicity. However, a haiku is not enough to convey a full message, which I want to express, so I tie some haiku into a bunch of poetry and call it “haikus.” My haikus is different from the traditional haiku. Each traditional haiku becomes a stanza in the haikus.
Bobby uttered, “Wow! Anhthao, you are creative.”
Professor Mitchell told us, “ Anhthao was an ESL student. She has lived in America for six years. She loves literature and wishes to be a Vietnamese-American writer. She often makes grammartical errors when she writes, but I like her ideas. Her thoughts are deep. She is very quiet in class. I want you to help her.”
Lina showed her admiration, “You’re remarkable, Anhthao. English literature is very difficult.”
Jo Ann confessed, “I cannot write beautiful poetry like yours.”
Pamela added, “Poetry is your gift, Anhthao.”
Prof. Mitchell agreed with Pamela, “Indeed, she is! Don’t give up, Anhthao. You only have three more classes. Your writing is fine. We understand you.”
Angela offered, “I volunteer to help Anhthao correct her English grammartical errors.”
I appreciated Angela, “Thank you, Angela.”
I asked, “May I read one more poem?”
Prof. Mitchell agreed, “It’s fine, Anhthao.”
I read, “ In Debt
I owe my father a sperm
I owe my mother an egg
I owe my country a yellow skin
I owe America my freedom
I owe my professors
My knowledge
What did I do for the debt?
Nothing!
What should I do?
What should I do?
Never enough.

Cesar told me, “I love your poetry, Anhthao.”
Richard commended, “You did many things. You are successful. You almost receive your Bachelor’s degree.”
Kyle added, “You got many accomplishments.”
I told them, “ I promise not to give up my dream and will apply the English Master’s Program. I know I will cope with difficulties and hardships. However, I do not have the right to give up because of your trust and your care for me, my dear professor and friends.”
Prof. Mitchell encouraged me, “You will be successful, Anhthao.”

SJSU, Spring 2003

Friday, August 1, 2008

Haiku 48


Admiring Nature
Poetry muscle working
Describe its beauty

Haiku 47



Nature circulates
Fall, winter, summer, and spring
Life cycle courses